Dating Older, Richer Women Give Us
Psychological Comfort, Social Connection, Abuja Men Speak

Some men in Abuja have told THE WHISTLER why they prefer to date older, richer women popularly referred to as ‘Sugar Mummies’ even when they are aware that such relationships would not lead to marriage.

While some of them who spoke in different interviews with this Website explained that younger men derive joy and sexual satisfaction dating older women, others say the need for financial security might make a younger man to date older rich women.

For Mr. Simeon Chukwu, an Abuja based Psychologist, he said, “In Abuja, you will see some rich women who are looking for love but are not able to find love, they resort to other alternative ways of being happy. Maybe getting a partner but not necessarily someone who will love them, but someone who will provide that psychological comfort or social connection that they crave a lot.

“Whether sugar mummy, sugar daddy, sugar boy or girl, whoever it is, everyone needs someone to love and care for them. So for sugar mummies, some of them might be married or living alone but have a partner for companionship or someone that gratify their needs.”

Speaking on why there are many sugar mummies in Abuja, Chukwu said, “You expect sugar mummies to be in preponderance in major city like Abuja, there are politicians, younger boys doing well for themselves, and also the older women doing exceptionally well who are financially stable with no one to love them or provide that sexual satisfaction they need.

“Such women can resort to buying such sexual satisfaction. Buying in the sense that they have a young man who is ready to meet that their needs.

“Also, they are some boys who live large in Abuja but off sugar mummies, which is a typical thing that happens around major cities.”

Explaining his experience with a sugar mummy about a decade ago, he said, “Yes I had an experience about a decade ago, I met her on Facebook. I discovered she had two kids for her late husband the very first day we met. Nothing happened between us though; but later, I fell in love with the daughter. The truth is that, Sugar mummies can do anything just to have that desired person they want.”

Also speaking, Henry Mbah, an Abuja based civil servant said he has been wooed twice by sugar mummies in Abuja.

He said, “Sugar mummies are common in Abuja, and the trend is increasing day by day. Women trying to get on top of the world. I’ve had two advances here in Abuja, women trying to lure me into their web, and that was between 2015 and 2016.

“The first one told me that she got married early, immediately after school and had no time to enjoy life before marriage. The husband is still alive but stays at the East while she’s based here in Abuja. I didn’t find it okay, even as she is a senior manager in where she works, and the second one also work in one of the government agency and they were between 40 and 47 ages.”

When asked why some young men preferred to date older, rich women, he said, “No doubt, young guys do that for money. Honestly money is a factor, material things is a factor too. However, that shouldn’t put them up because that money is not forever. My advised to them is to be wise.”

An Abuja based photographer who gave his name as Phila, said his kind of work exposes him to sugar mummies.

He said, “I’ve met so many of them. I think Abuja women know their right so much that they tend to take crazy decisions about their real marriages just to protect their right regardless of what they stand to lose, and Abuja boys on the other really have eyes on money regardless of the source.

“The funny thing is that Abuja sugar mummies are very young, and the boys are still innocent and genuine. Some of these Abuja women don’t stay committed in marriages and relationships because they want to prove little points to protect their rights.

“I’m a photographer, and there is no way I won’t meet those kind of women, but I was also raised in a good way. This women won’t even commit you with emotional strings aside the sexual gratification, and they are even very confident about their opinion. Majority of them fall in that range of 37 to 50 years of age.”

For Emmanuel Okike, a civil servant, he said, “I believe everyone has freedom of relationship. Cost of living in Abuj is high, likewise sexual gratification. So it’s a trade by barter. I make you more comfortable, and you pay with sex.”