‘God Did Not Teach Abraham Polygamy’– Relationship Pastor Speaks On Marriage

The Senior pastor of David Christian Centre, Lagos and foremost relationship counsellor in Nigeria, Kingsley Okonkwo, has responded to arguments that polygamy is endorsed by God as a template for Christian marriages.

He shared his views on Saturday during an Instagram Live event he held which has“ Who Said Polygamy Is Wrong” as one of the headings.

Recall that former aide to ex-president of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan, Reno Omokri, had stated that the polygamous marriages of several Bible characters were proof that God endorsed it.

“We see that in 2 Samuel 12:8: “I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.”

He however stated that he will not recommend it to anyone.

He wrote on Facebook: “Now, I will not counsel any man to go into polygamy, and I am not a polygamists, neither do I have plans to be. However, it is either a function of ignorance, or just a demonic lie, to say that Scripture forbids polygamy.

“Scripture does forbid polygamy for Bishops and elders, as we see in 1 Timothy 3:2:
“A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach.”

His views followed the revelation made by Nollywood actor, Yul edochie about his marriage to a second wife who already has a child for him.

The development had sparked widespread reaction with different sides supporting and opposing polygamy for Christians.

Okonkwo while not making reference to any personality, advised that when people read the Bible, they should have at the back of their minds that God has a nature, structure for everything and that Bible characters had their culture at the time which were not necessarily approved or taught by God.

“Whenever you interpret scriptures, don’t push extremes, many read Bible for argument; if you read something in the Bible and it looks confusing to you, check the nature and structure of God first.

“Everything God does has a structure, He will never go against His guidelines. Human beings had their culture at the time, God does not fix people’s culture, He starts with them where they are.

“Don’t misconstrue that culture as God’s approved way,” he said.

Okonkwo said that concerning marriage, it was clear from Matthew 19:2 – 9 that “they two shall become one flesh” adding that that was God’s structure for marital union from the beginning.

“Several fathers of old married more than one wife, that had nothing to do with God, God’s standard or structure for marriage was revealed at the beginning.
“It is not everything Abraham did that we can copy, it is not everything I do as a pastor that you can copy, Apostle Paul says ‘follow me as I follow Christ.

“God did not teach Abraham about polygamy, He never told them to do it; so be able to differentiate between what is God’s will from people’s acts or the culture of men. Do you even know that God did not want Israel to have a king, but He accommodated it because they wanted it.

“God has given us free will, your will has nothing to do with God.

“In Islam, they say its four wives, but for we as Christians, God’s structure is one man, one wife.”

Okonkwo further said that God’s structure was practically seen after God destroyed the world through flood.

“Do you notice that all the animals entered and came out of Noah’s ark two by two? That is God’s structure,” he maintained.

On the argument that one woman cannot really satisfy her husband, he agreed that it has been scientifically proven that men tend to have high sex drive than women because of the things females go through during pregnancy, child bearing.

But he cited the Bible verse which states “godliness with contentment is great gain” adding that using that argument as a pretext for marrying another woman is not strong enough.

“We all have insatiable needs for things we like but getting more of these things will not satisfy, it will not stop adultery, it is contentment that satisfies. Marrying more women wont stop you from having side chicks.

“Contentment is not about what you have, but you being happy with what you have. What you need is self-control. Those who support polygamy should tell us how many wives would be okay for a man. Solomon had 700 wives!

“You can say it is hard to stay with one woman as a wife till you die but don’t say it is not right,” he opined.

Regarding people arguing that monogamy was strictly for the clergy and elders, Okonkwo referred them to the Bible verse which states “and has made us kings and priest”.

He contended that every clergy or bishop was once a member of the church and that every cleric is even a member of the universal church.

He said that if bishops were instructed to have one wife, it means they were not polygamous members before their ordination because it takes a member of a congregation to be ordained as a pastor, bishop or elder.

He explained that the specific instruction on one wife was given to the priest because they were meant to set an example in their society and before their congregation.
“Pastors should marry one wife and members should marry many? What do you think the church is? Every pastor was once a member, infact, every pastor, deacon or bishop is a member of the body of Christ. How does that even makes sense?,” he asked.

He said a pastor marrying one wife is an example set out for people to follow.

Furthermore, Okonkwo argued that the reason polygamy is tilting to the men’s side is because society sees women as less.

“God does not see women as less than men, it is culture that sees that. The people pushing this argument feel women are less item,” he said.