‘I Was Too Shocked To Tell Him’- Genotype Compatibility Victims Speaks

Is it important for you to find out the genotype of your lover before you say “ Yes, I do” to that guy or that lady? Many young people now think it’s important to discuss genotypes with their partners before going ahead with marriage plans.

Genotype is the genetic makeup of an organism, and more people are seeking genotype compatibility before marriage to avoid having children born with sickle cell disease.

According to health tips by the American University of Nigeria, two people are said to have compatible genotypes when there is no possibility of them birthing a child with sickle cell disease. 

Genotype AA is the universally compatible genotype that is, regardless of who they partner up with, there is no possibility of them birthing a child with sickle cell disease.

“AS and AS should not marry, there is every chance of having a child with SS. AS and SS shouldn’t think of marrying.

“And definitely, SS and SS must not marry since there’s absolutely no chance of escaping having a child with the sickle cell disease.”

THE WHISTLER spoke to some people who have had to let go of their relationships, including marriage plans because their genotype was not compatible with their partners.

Miss faith John, Banker.

We were together on this faithful day and he got a call from a distant relative about a child with sickle cell disease (he is a medical doctor). He was very furious. They talked for a long time and he then mentioned that he has the AS genotype and wouldn’t want to put his kids through that pain.

I was in shock, too shocked to tell him that I was an AS also. Didn’t know how to tell him at that time. I needed to process what I was feeling and what I heard.

A few weeks later, he wanted to meet and make it official. Sadly, I told him It wasn’t going to be possible. Told him the reason as he also was in shock. He didn’t believe it. He took me to run a test and it hadn’t changed.

He was in the medical field and so was my mum. So, we both knew all the risks that were involved. That didn’t stop us from considering taking the risk at some point. We hoped that maybe a pastor would pray that could miraculously change our genotypes.

After a few weeks of madness, we both concluded that no amount of love was worth bringing kids to suffer. There’s a chance that we could get lucky and not have children with the disease but there’s also a chance that we won’t get lucky. We agreed to let it go. It was tough but we had to.

Our family and close friends advised us to do the right thing which was to let go.

Going ahead to get married after knowing you aren’t compatible is not worth all the pain and suffering you’ll be putting your child or children through. They’ll be a strain on your relationship, love, finances, and all.

Mr. Joseph Iyang, Engineer.

About a year or so after we started dating, when I became quite comfortable with her, we talked about family, kids, medicals, etc. I then casually asked about her genotype and she said she wasn’t even sure but thinks it’s AS. I told her that I was AS and I was very sure of my genotype as my mum was a nurse and I knew about several medical stuff. 

Then I told her to go do a blood test. She eventually did one in 3 different places, weeks apart.

For the first test, I think she sent me the result on WhatsApp as she was in another town at home. She also called me later and we spoke about it. For the other 2 tests, she just sent me the results on WhatsApp.

I felt bad. But the feeling grew terrible with time. She was my real “Gee” and we were into each other. She was tall, fair, very pretty, and a sweet soul. I had already imagined how our daughter will look like her.

After our AS-AS discovery, we both did not take it so seriously then. We initially just did like

“Nothing happened” and sort of ignored our dilemma. It was after her NYSC. when she went to Lagos, we both agreed that we have to move on with our lives.

One time, she said we should try to stop talking for some time. But she called me the next day and said. “I am not doing ok with this arrangement o”. After this, we even considered going ahead at a point, and also considered medical ways but it was too expensive for me to consider then.

Friends and family pitied us. But their response was clear; “Don’t go ahead”. My Mum was a nurse so it was not even to be considered. One of my close friends told me I won’t find another girl that will love me like her. 

That we should marry and do the medicals overseas where one checks the foetus for genotype and terminate it. But it was very expensive and I could not try this. Adopting was not my thing as well. So eventually she went to school in Canada and we both encouraged each other to try other relationships.

Miss Ronke Fabiyi, Businesswoman.

We were planning on getting married, and we decide to go for a medical check and genotype, and boom we were both AS-AS. It was a moment of tears and sadness as both of us weren’t willing to let go and decided we were going to get married regardless.

Our friends and family didn’t support our decision, because they know the agony that comes with it.

I had to listen to my family and also made some research, so after my research and findings and knowing what the child we are bringing to this world will go through I decided to end the relationship and we all went out our separate ways.

I won’t advise people who are not compatible to go ahead because of the crisis and pain the child will go through, not just the child but also the parent won’t find it funny at all.

Lanre Lawson, Military Personnel.

During one of our casual talks, she asked me what my genotype was and I said AS. Immediately I observed that her countenance sort of changed but she tried to hide it. In my head, I was like “Oh No”. I then asked her what her genotype was. When she told me AS I figured out why her countenance had changed.

I felt the Universe was just not on my side.  We just knew there was nothing that could happen again. There wasn’t much to discuss. It was quite painful because we were very cool friends and remain friends to date.

We knew the relationship wouldn’t lead to marriage but we did not allow it to drain us. We still just enjoyed our friendship and I think we even became closer after this. It was like we had an informal agreement that we never talked about.

More Like “Enjoy our love till one of us met someone else”. And that’s pretty what we did. At some point, we seemed to have believed in our heads that we would figure something out, but we never did.

I kept it from my family as they would ask, what on earth are you people doing when you both know you are AS? I knew no one would support us.

I’ll never encourage people not compatible to get married unless you have the funds to arrange things medically while the woman is pregnant.

The trauma associated with supporting an SS child is quite much.

Mr. Solomon Iwe, Banker.

My elder brother was SS and that killed him. It caused the family so much struggle and pain. So, I vowed not to make the mistake of bringing an innocent child into the world to suffer. This made me always ask a lady about her genotype before anything serious started.

We both found out together during our wedding plans preparations when we had to submit a medical report to the church. It came as a shock to us because I had asked her before and she told me she has the AA genotype. Little did I know that she wasn’t sure.

It was such a hard time for both of us. I had proposed to her and we met families to make it official. Marriage plans had started. The marriage date was fixed, and we had started marriage classes. We set up our dream family house together. Just the thought of letting go alone made me shed tears.

Initially, she was hell-bent we go ahead and get married but I kept remembering how my elder brother and my family suffered. It is not something I would want to go through. It’ll be wicked of me to do that. The guilt was going to hunt me for life. So, we called the wedding off.

For family and friends too, it was a hard decision to take, but they advised us to do the right thing.

I won’t advise anyone in a similar situation to get married regardless. It’s like setting yourself up for life. Love alone won’t be enough.

Types of Genotype

The genotypes in humans are AA, AS, AC, SS. They refer to the hemoglobin gene constituents on the red blood cells. AC is rare whereas AS and AC are abnormal.

Genotype Compatibility Chart

Study this table below carefully:

AA + AA = AA, AA, AA, AA (Excellent) AA + AS = AA, AS, AA, AS, (Good) AA + SS = AS, AS, AS, AS, (Fair) AA + AC = AA, AA, AA, AC. (Good) AS + AS = AA, AS, AS, SS, (Very Bad) AS + SS = AS, SS, SS, SS, (Very Bad) AS + AC = AA,  AC, AS,SS. (Bad; Advice needed) SS + SS = SS, SS, SS, SS, (Very Bad) AC + SS = AS, AS, SS, SS, (Very Bad) AC + AC = AA, AC, AC, SS. ( Bad; Advice needed)