Honourable Abdulrahman Ibrahim is the judge of the Grade One Area Court, Bwari, Abuja.
The court has jurisdiction over civil and criminal cases within the area.
In this interview with THE WHISTLER at his chambers, Honorable Ibrahim reveals some of the root causes of divorce in marriages and how people can protect their marriages from divorce. Excerpts:
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What Are The Common Reasons For Divorce Matters In Abuja Courts?
Thank you very much for this question. From the experience I have as a Grade One Area Court Judge here in Bwari, these are the reasons marriages are broken irretrievably:
Economic Difficulties: You can see a situation whereby a husband cannot cater for the responsibilities of his family and if the wife does not have an understanding or has been complaining or trying to tolerate it but it (the economic crisis) has reached a certain level, she has to get out of the marriage. Economic difficulty is among the reasons why marriages usually break.
Lack Of Intimacy: Cohabitation means for a husband to have (intimate) affairs with his wife. With the economic dilemma Nigerians are facing now, men are spiritually discouraged from performing well on their wives because of economic hardships or difficulties.
Some women don’t take it lightly, if it is in terms of cohabitation, such a woman is ready to get out of the marriage. We do have many cases here in court because of lack of cohabitation; maybe, he (the husband) cannot satisfy her (the wife) or she (the wife), to some extent, is not okay with him (the husband) and would want to go where she will get enough.
Disagreements About Children: Sometimes, maybe, the wife will have an interest in one of her children studying somewhere while the husband will have a different opinion (about the child’s education); from there, they will have issues which will escalate to a certain level to the point that either of them will come and file a case (divorce/custody application), that based of the case (circumstances), they want to get out of the marriage.
Even though this is a rare case, we have this kind of case but we do control and tell them to go for settlement and go back to their matrimonial home.
These are at least, the three reasons marriages are broken. We do have other reasons but these are the major ones I can talk about now.
What Do You Recommend As a Resolve/Settlement Mechanism Against Divorce In Marriages?
I recommend that before people get into marriage, they should know their partners, and know the person they are going for as a partner in marriage.
Because marriage is a long way to go. So, one has to get a person (partner) who understands him or her and who will manage such a person at any given time.
If we have the best choices in marriages, there is a high tendency for a marriage to be a successful one but if one does not have the right partner, the marriage may not stay long.
Choosing a (right) partner is also a mechanism for reducing divorce.
Secondly, I recommend that the wives also have something to be doing in this economic difficulty Nigerians are facing.
Economic issues are even the major reason why marriages are broken now. You will find a situation where a woman wakes up in the morning and finds out that her husband has run away and she will not know where he is or where he will be found.
We have many cases in which the husband runs away and the wife cannot reach him on the phone, and she is left with children (to cater for). In our own experience, we observe that it (such development) is part of the economic hardships.
I recommend that the wives be doing business or working too, so that husband and wife can have two hands trying to manage the family so that each of them can contribute to managing the family.
Thirdly, I recommend that if you do not have a strong business or a good job, don’t go for marriage, because you end up causing trouble to another person or expose your children to danger.
Please, let people get ready before going into marriage.
If people have become couples already, please they should tolerate one another, help one another and unite themselves so that the family could be one house. Tolerance, patience, overlooking, and many more.
Fourthly, let the woman (wife) stop hearing some side talks from bad friends; it also causes some marriages to be broken.
Don’t say what Mr A did for his wife, your husband must do it for you too because it may be that your husband is not up to Mr A. Mr A may be earning more than your husband