Kayan Lefe, Hausa Cultural Practice That Scares Men From Marriage In Northern Nigeria

Kayan lefe is a Hausa marriage tradition where the groom buys expensive gift items for his bride, which are formally presented to his in-laws. The presentation is usually witnessed by the entire family of the bride and offers an avenue to assess the affluence of the groom.

But the tradition has now become a stumbling block to many marriages in Northern Nigeria where many young consider themselves unable to meet the expectations of their in-laws.

For a middle-class marriage, a man may spend from one million naira and above, depending on his income or family background.

A man who cannot give his fiancée Kayan Lefe is regarded as worthless or at best a pauper who does not deserve the girl he wants to marry.

Items included in kayan lefe for an average man include: One big box (worth 100,000 and above),another set of boxes( 5 or 6 pieces), minimum of 15 wrappers, 5 pieces of  lace, guinea brocade and other materials ,set of head veils, Jewelry, underwear, night gowns, cosmetics, shoes and bags.

Kayan Lefe, originally an Hausa practice, has become a common tradition in Northern Nigeria and nearly all ethnic groups in the region practice it as it adds excitement to marriage proposals.

But while it has become a popular practice, it is preventing many young men from getting married to their heartthrobs.

The high demands made by the bride and her family, coupled with the high cost of living in the country is now a hindrance to marriage.

Explaining the essence of the practice, Farida Yakubu, a young Hausa lady in Kaduna,  said: “Kayan lefe are those clothes and accessories offered to the bride by her proposed husband, before or after the wedding, to signify his love and capabilities towards taking care of her needs after their wedding.

“Sometimes, kayan lefe also varies from one tribe or family to another. If one family can accept three to four boxes full of clothes, another family may not accept it. So, I think that is what discourages single men when it comes to getting married nowadays.”

She said the gifts bought by the man must fill up 5 to 6 boxes and have to be meet the taste of the girl’s family.

A man may decide to buy the items by himself or give the money to his bride to do the shopping in order to avoid problems arising from colour preferences and so on.

 Ali Garba Kolo, who is Kanuri, said in his culture, the Kayan Lefe also include shopping for mothers-in-law(where the girl’s father has many wives), bride’s grandmothers and grandfathers, her aunties and uncles from both sides of the mother and father.

He said all the people mentioned would receive at least wrappers.

Mrs Aisha Bashir from Yola said “What we grew up to see in Yola are the set of boxes filled with clothes from the groom-to-be, either through his effort alone or with the support of his siblings and parents.

“When the Kayan Lefe is ready, the groom’s family is responsible for taking it to the bride’s family house, where elders in the family, consisting of her maternal and paternal relatives come together to welcome them, as the boxes are opened and the items counted for accountability’s sake.

“Nowadays, golds are included in some Lefes, and even cars are gifted as well. In turn, the bride’s family also gift cash and food, including snacks and beverages to those that brought the lefe. Lefe is the groom’s responsibility.”

Weddings Called Off Due To Kayan Lefe

Sani Kashim Gabi, 28, from Niger state, is a teacher based in Abuja. He also runs other businesses including a barbing salon. When asked about marriage, he said “I will get married, sooner or later, Insha’Allah,” but was quick to add that the delay was due to financial constraints.

“ kayan lefe involves spending a lot of money. That’s why the marriage process has lingered for many young men.

“ Kayan lefe informs my decision towards getting married. It is the desire of every responsible man to tie a knot with the love of his life. But today there are a lot of unhappy bachelors as a result of kayan lefe as part of the wedding tradition which has been prioritised from time immemorial,” he said, adding that the tradition has become a big challenge.

“It’s a big challenge to the youths of this part of the world. The reasons are because Arewa is mired in abject poverty, banditry as well as insurgency. With these, no doubt, pose a threat to our struggle. Lefe has become an immemorial tradition which is highly demanding, in terms of money.”

Aliyu Dnaladi, from Gombe, said kayan lefe is a challenge to youths in the north because of the state of the economy.

“With relatively low income among young people in Northern Nigeria, the thought of Lefe is dismaying. Apart from the cost of shelter and other marriage expenditures, a young man still has Lefe to bear, filling many bags with clothes, shoes and cosmetics.

“Notwithstanding, the materials have to be expensive as each bride wants her Lefe to be costlier than her friend’s or sister’s, and failure to reach a particular standard might incur scorn from relatives,” he lamented.

Lefe had also reportedly led to the cancellation of weddings while many were put on hold due to the high cost of  kayan lefe.

Farida, sharing an experience on the negative effect of Kayan Lefe,  said,  “There was a time that a man bought some boxes and clothes he could afford, and asked his relatives to take to his fiancé’s house as lefe. But his fiancé’s family rejected it, saying it was too cheap for their daughter. So, the wedding was called off because of that.”

Maryam Bako, who lives in Sokoto, also confirmed that many marriages had been put off because of the Kayan Lefe, a development she said is now pushing young average men to look for marriage among girls from affluent homes.

“It is very important to stress that some women have lost their sense of modesty. We have had people putting off their weddings over this issue of lefe, and at the end, some of them go looking for auren Jari (a not so wealthy guy going to ask for a well-to-do lady’s hands in marriage) and end up getting a well-furnished house including money,” she revealed.

Sociologist’s Explain Tradition

Dr. Mohammed Ali Mechanic, Head of Department (HOD), Sociology and Anthropology, University of Maiduguri, advised young men to marry from families within their own social and economic status to avoid the frustration of Kayan Lefe.

He said: “If you know your status and the status you’re marrying into, you yourself ought to know that you don’t need to be told what and what to present as kayan lefe. There are some people that’d look at what others have done during their weddings and will think they too will have to do it. If they don’t consider their economic background, then they are in for problems.

” Kayan lefe is considered to be very vital in marriage preparations in the Northern part of Nigeria today. It has come to stay for both Christians and Muslims. But it is beginning to be a serious problem because of the economic situation of the country. Although, those who are the backbone of the society are beginning to look into this.

“For example, I could remember in Adamawa, Mayo Belwa local government, an Emir drastically reduced the cost of marriage to as little as possible, so that youths can be able to marry women because the number of women in our society is outnumbering the number of men. And on the other hand, men are not marrying due to the economic situation in the country. “