Lady Raped At Age 7 By ‘Brother’ In Abuja Tells THE WHISTLER In Emotional Interview: ‘ I See Sex As Dirty Thing’

After losing her virginity to a rapist at the age of 7, Gift, now 26 years, has struggled with sex.

Moving on with her life from the horrific experience of sexual assault at such a tender age has been difficult for her.

In an emotionally charged interview session in her Abuja home, she revealed how she was raped by her family friend’s son who was supposed to protect her from harm.

It happened in 2003 when she was in primary 3, on a day after she had closed from school.

Recalling the incident, Gift said she grew up developing so much hate for men including her father and her brother because “the man that my parents entrusted me to took advantage of me and my virginity.”

The Rest Of Her Story:

Assignment Gone Wrong

Just as I told you my both parents were civil servants, they returned home by 5 pm. So, since there was no one at home to stay with me after school my mum always made the school bus to drop me at our family friend’s house that was not far from our house.

That day when I dropped from the school bus, I ran to meet my Aunt as she was heading out, and she said I should go inside and change so I can eat the lunch my mum usually drops for me and also try to rest. After I was done, her son whom I usually called brother was in the sitting room so  I told him to please put me through with my assignment.

While we were at it, he paused and held my face and said “smally, see how you are fine,” and I smiled ignorantly, not knowing that it was going to be the worst day of my life.

For First Time I Saw A Penis 

We continued working on my quantitative reasoning assignment and then to my greatest shock, my brother pulled out his penis from his boxers and asked me to touch it, and I asked him why then he promised me that I will like it.

Because I had it in mind that “this is my brother, nothing can happen,” I  just told him “please now help me let me finish my assignment”.

And then I threatened to run out and report to neighbours not knowing that the “dog” had locked the door all the while. I cried all I can but it was all in vain as he forced himself on me. While I was still struggling he held me and wiped my tears telling me not to say it to anyone.

I never understood what this will cause for me because I felt after several years passed I would have been able to get myself together but now I  understand how bad it really was, and my issues with my partner since are all down to that afternoon. 

I Struggle To Feel In Control

Since the rape happened,  I grew very scared of men, including my dad and my brother but I’m always thankful to my Sunday school teacher who noticed this, spoke to me and helped me to tell my parents.

But right now I struggle to be intimate with my fiancé. I feel guilty whenever we are both on the bed because I feel like it’s a dirty thing or that I don’t deserve it. I struggle to feel in control when it comes to sex. 

It’s been 19 years now and whenever I’m trying to be intimate with the man I love dearly,  I often have flashbacks. I’m always thinking about what my boyfriend must be thinking. I second guess myself and his intentions, which is awful because I know he’s great. 

My Boyfriend Has Shown Understanding

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years and even though he’s a wonderful human being I doubt if he can continue being patient with me. So we both resolved to talk to a counselor this year.

It’s taken me such a long time to admit that what happened was rape, so a part of me still blames myself. This is even the first time I’ve ever spoken about what happened asides from telling my guy which I feel is a huge step for my healing.

To anyone who’s experienced something similar, my advice is that they shouldn’t blame themselves for anything, but they will need time to feel in control again. 

You’ll learn to trust yourself again. Losing confidence and trust in yourself is one of the worst things about experiencing something so traumatic. I’m learning to trust again.