Will You Forgive A Spouse Who Cheats?-Women Speak On Infidelity In Marriages

Throughout the years, women have always been taught to be tolerant and forgiving of their husband’s excesses in marriage no matter what.

In certain cultures and religions, it has been ingrained in women that divorce is never an option. But as the years have progressed, so have the mindset of women changed.

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Women have begun to form their own opinion on the matter. Some of them believe that divorce is an option if their spouse has been unfaithful while others have other reasons.

THE WHISTLER correspondent spoke to some women on their opinion when it comes to forgiving unfaithfulness in marriage.

Amira Shuaib Tahir, a married woman, said infidelity is the last thing that would make her end her marriage.

“I would stay with my husband if I found out he was unfaithful. We are all human, that’s not an excuse but I feel like marriage is a really sacred bond, you should be able to talk through and come back from anything, as long as it’s not murder.

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“I feel like people who decide to get a divorce because they have been cheated on are making a really rash decision”, she said.

Amira said if the infidelity is a one-time thing, then it is forgivable.

“If you find out that he is a serial cheater and is just not going to stop, then it’s a different thing”, she said.

Ada Nwokocha, who is currently in a relationship, shared a similar opinion to Amira’s. She said she can try to forgive her partner if he were unfaithful once and saw the error of his ways but it would be a different case if he were having an extramarital affair.

“If he cheated once, maybe had a one-night stand, and realised his mistake, I can try to move past it, I’m not saying I certainly will but I can try.

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As long as he’s apologetic and remorseful, we can try to move past that one mistake”, she said.

She said if she noticed it was repeated behaviour, however, she would opt for a divorce.

“If he had an affair or is just a serial cheat, I would opt for a divorce. He has had several occasions to consider what his actions will do to our relationship and I believe he decided our relationship isn’t worth anything to him”, she said.

Feyikemi Adebayo said divorce is not an option in her opinion except her life was in danger.

“In a situation where he is an unrepentant cheat, I can definitely consider divorce because my life is at risk there”, she said.

Other than that, in an instance of one-time infidelity, she said although she would be hurt, divorce is too extreme.

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“I believe to err is human and to forgive is divine. I would definitely be hurt but divorce is extreme for me. He has to make serious efforts to earn my trust and make the marriage work, she said.

For Tosin Adetiba however, infidelity is unforgiveable. Adetiba said she knows how challenging it would be to forgive him and she does not think she could ever move past it.

“I would get a divorce if my husband were unfaithful. I already know that forgiving him would be a big test, not to talk about forgetting. I’d never be able to get it out of my head and it would mess with my mental health”, she said.

Tife Onifade, single, shares a similar point of view with Tosin. Onifade said she believes that by being unfaithful, her husband would have dishonoured the marriage vows and belittled their relationship.

“Without a doubt, I would get a divorce. Once he has decided to look outward for what I could have given him then he has clocked out of the marriage.

“If he can dishonour our vows and belittle our relationship for a few minutes of pleasure with someone else, then I can’t spend the rest of my life thinking I was the problem, having trust issues and just doubting our love in general”, she said.

From the different opinions gathered, it is clear that while some women would forgive their husbands cheating once, most of them believe that when a husband cheats repeatedly, they would file for a divorce.

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