Would You Consider His Family Before Saying ‘I Do’?

Your family background or history have a major impact on your choice of partner, because everyone has a history or background.

People do not fall from the tree, everyone has a root, your spouse is different from his family, but he or she was formed by his family and it’s a big mistake not to take that into account when making a decision about marriage.

THE WHISTLER sought the views of Nigerians on this critical issue, and we bring you excerpts:

Mrs. Roselyn Okoro (a retired civil servant)

 “It is very vital to know the family background of your spouse, where he’s coming from and the people you are relating with. Either as in-laws or as a husband it is important because he or she may have come from a family that has trait of stealing or a psychiatric problem, that is why you have to find out the kind of family your spouse is from before marriage.

“Where I come from the parents of both family go for what we call in my place “ Nkuru”, that is,  eight days of finding out about the persons family. Parents should have influence in choosing life partner for their children so they will not make mistake or die of regret.”

Mrs Vivian Osahighe ( house wife)

“If i meet the person for the first time or in a relationship with him I will definitely know or find out if not everything at list a bit of him, his background , his parent , where he is from, if he is a Christian or Muslim, if the parents are still together as husband and wife, divorced or if one is dead or still alive.

“I think I need to know the person’s background before I go into marriage with him because it is risky, and it may either pay off or burn your fingers.In Nigeria there are places I cannot marry from because they are fetish. So, there are different kinds of reasons not to marry from a particular family or place.”

Mr. Kachinonye Nmezi (business man)

“My spouse’s family background can influence my decision to go ahead with marriage or not. But it depends on what the problem is, if the girl I want to marry is a catholic for example and am a Anglican from what I know most catholic do not want to marry outside their church. I am speaking from experience because it happened to me.

There are so many things that can determine your choice of spouse, it’s not only religion. It can be traditional background, where the person comes from, you have to ask if they accept certain people in marriage. Also find out about medical history of the family, do they have mental problems or some certain illnesses?

Mr. Issan Hassan ( business man)

“For me I don’t think so because I have my decision to take weather good or bad  at the end of the day I know that I took the decision by myself in as much as I love the lady and I don’t see anything wrong.  Marriage is respect for one another I don’t see her background stopping me from marrying because of the level I have attained in life.

“ I have my ear to hear and my eyes to look around I take my own decision not based on what they say. But definitely I will know her background there is a proverb that said “if you don’t know where you are going at least you know where you are coming from.” Ofcourse I will try and know where she is from to an extend that should not be a problem. The most important thing is me and her, that is what matters.”

Mrs. Lucy Frank (business woman)

“Of course, I will because is very necessary thing to do before embarking in the journey of marriage. My own parent did it for me and my siblings and I will do same for my children. knowing where your partner is from is something my people do not joke with , because there are  places we cannot get married to in my village. We forbid them from marring from our place, they are called “Osu” in Igbo land.

“Family background help you to understand where you are going to and the people you are getting involved with.  I advise our young people to pay a visit to their spouse’s village, not in the city to make inquiry about the kind of family he or she is from.