‘Call Me A Gold Digger…I Don’t Care’ – Single Ladies Speak On Marrying Struggling Or Successful Men

One of the pains of single men who are still struggling to make ends meet is finding women who are willing to marry them without tangible accomplishments like having good accommodation, cars and thriving business.

Some single ladies believe that women are meant to be taken care of and should not “suffer” with a man. To them, it is risky to marry a man who has not gained proper foothold to embark on life’s journey.

Conversely, there are women who believe that their voice in marriage may be silenced if they don’t make contributions to the growth and achievements of their spouses.

These views were shared at the weekend when THE WHISTLER sampled the opinions of some single ladies on if they would prefer to marry a ‘struggling’ or an ‘ready-made’ man.

Ogbonna Ijeoma, a single lady who works at a seaport in Lagos, belongs to the group of ladies who don’t mind to build with a man, albeit she doesn’t despise successful men.

When asked if she can marry a struggling man, Ijeoma said: “I want to be the woman behind his success. For me, I don’t have a problem with a ready-made or struggling man.

“Love first. But with the way marriages are going these days and men’s constant ego, I will love to settle for a man I know the genesis of his wealth not already made before I married him.

“I have seen the majority of women that settle for that kind (Already Made) and end up being “a woman is to be seen not heard” kind of thing in a home.”

Another spinster residing in the Apo area of Abuja, Farida Abubakar, said while money does not guarantee a happy home, settling with a struggle is unacceptable to her.

“I’m going for the already made man straight. Call me a gold digger or any name of some sort, I don’t care o. You fit suffer with man finish, when he begins to see the money, he starts misbehaving. Haven’t you heard of the saying ‘broke men are loyal’? ” She queried.

John Victoria, a hair vendor in Abuja, said a past experience wouldn’t let her settle for a ‘broke man’.

“A struggling man made it and left me for someone else. I’d be a fool to let that happen again. I’d go for the already-made man (it doesn’t necessarily mean he has to be filthy rich though)

“Meanwhile, it’s easier said than done. I almost ended up with a struggling man last year because I was in love but thank God for the genotype issue.

“After struggling as a single lady, I can’t go into marriage struggling, suffering is not meant for me alone.”

Also speaking to our correspondent, an Abuja-based businesswoman who gave her name as Ujunwa Michael, said, “No one wants to suffer, it all depends on the man. I prefer a man who can care for me, cloth me, and can afford up to three square meals a day, then we build from there.

“Not the one who has it all and can’t give me any atom of respect. The one that will condition you to certain things, and dictate where you go. I want a man whom I can have freedom with.”

Also sharing her opinion, Tobechi Jacob, a food vendor based in Calabar, said: “There are two ways to this, getting married to an already made man is riskier because men these days tend to look down on ladies that they don’t have. The sole responsibility of a man is to provide but our Nigerian men are very lazy and want responsibilities to be shared.

“It’s better to work with your man to make the money together, if you must marry an already made man, a lady should have her own money. I would advise you to marry a man who has the insight to make it, then build together with him.”

Titi Adebayo, on her part, would rather pick a successful man if she was given options to choose from.

“It depends on the individual. Should I find an already made man that respects and treats me fine? Why wouldn’t I? No, be person go later marry am. Everyone mustn’t struggle with a man to get true happiness. All na luck and grace.

“Then if I get to see a man that’s still struggling and of course ambitious and we both love ourselves, still ok.”

For Christiana Agbo, a construction worker based in Abuja, there’s a fine line between having money and enjoying peace of mind in marriage.

According to her, struggling married men drain women emotionally and mentally when they argue frequently over money.