Funny Cool Ways To Escape Nigeria’s Heat Without Breaking The Bank

The heat wave in the country right now is out of this world. It’s even more disturbing as the Abuja Electricity Distribution Company (AEDC) decided that this is the time not to be supplying power again. And to make matters worse, fuel prices have skyrocketed, making it tough for people to even afford running their generators.

If you find yourself in these hopeless situations, don’t panic! Here are some places you could sneak in to help you go through the day.

1. Visit Banks: Even though the money in your bank account is just N1, there is no law that forbids you from visiting your bank. You could stay for hours in the bank pretending you are there to make an enquiry. In such, you could use that time to asks how you could open a corporate account and even begin the process right there. By now, I know you understand why I said you should visit the bank. It has this air conditioner that will help cool your head from the heat. You could stay as long as you want to before coming out to embrace the heat again.
2. Visit the Mall: This is a time to go visit the mall and enquire the prices of all those items you have been wondering their prices. It is called window shopping. If you are lucky, you could find a place to sit for a while to try one or two of those dresses and shoes. Don’t worry the window shopping won’t be for nothing as it will help you budget.
3. Hotels: Just like you visited the bank, you could as well visit hotels. Thank God there are many amazing hotels in Nigeria. You could just walk in their lobbies and pretend that you have come to visit someone; and you are waiting for the person or better still you could pretend you were there for an event. Many of our hotels are used to host events. You could just enter one of them. You might even be lucky to get free breakfast and lunch at such events. What an amazing way to run from the heat.
4. Visit Government Offices: Some government offices have ACs in their lobbies and waiting rooms. You could simply slip in there and cool your brain for a while before heading to your destination.
5. Eateries: Just go into one of those eateries and simply ask for a bottle water. Experts have advised Nigerians to drink water during this period. The water will not cost that much. Sit down and enjoy your water and the AC. After all, you paid for it.
6. Gardens and Out-door Areas: Some gardens are open to everyone. You could just walk in there, find a good area and sit. Though, these gardens do not have ACs as it is outdoor, you have the time to enjoy the natural breeze created by God. It will cool you and it is for free.
7. Church or Mosque: When I say churches and mosques, I do not mean any churches or mosques. You should look for one of those big ones. There, you could not just cool your head but also find time to pray for to God to send down the rain. It is surely a win-win situation.
8. Visit a Friend: When all else fails, you could crash at a friend’s place with a working AC. With friends, we have so much to talk about. There are gists about work, about the city or you could talk about the US-Israel-Iran war. However, do not just overstay your welcome because you need this friend as a back-up plan when other plans fail.
9. Library: I would love to suggest this but people no longer find time to read books. But you could try this. Find a library (are there even one?) and get lost in a book while you escape the heat.

Chika Mefor-Nwachukwu is a journalist and writes this humorous feature from Abuja.