How Long Can You Wait For Pregnancy After Marriage?

Nigerians are believed to be very religious people, but when it comes to the issue of pregnancy and child bearing after marriage, not many are willing to wait for God. Staring at negative pregnancy results after months of marriage, in a society where women are under pressure to produce children,is a discomfiting situation that many women are no longer willing to stand.

Perhaps, gone are the days when women waited 10 years or more after marriage before God answered their prayers. More and more women are losing the patience to wait for that “miracle child” from God.

THE WHISTLER spoke to a cross section of women in the Federal Capital Territory on how long they would be prepared to wait for a child after marriage and the responses were stunning. Some wouldn’t even wait for three months!

Women Respond

Miss Temi Bankole (Banker)

 “i can  only wait for three years after which i would opt for an alternative.

“After 3 years, it’s not too quick and not too late to opt for an alternative, this is a long period of time for us to exhaust every possible way to procreate the normal way.

 “I’d want to build a family as early as possible, I don’t want to be 60yrs old and still be sending a kid through university. I want to be relaxed and living my best life at that age, so if IVF will help me achieve this so why the wait?”

Miss Sarah Akoh(ICT expert)

“I would be patient as long as 3 years before i begin to asks question. No time to waste.

 “IVF hmmmm. if I had the funds, I’d opt for it straight up. I mean I can determine the sex, how many kids at once, the genotype and also check for neutral and brain imbalances in the child before I decide to continue.”

Miss Victoria John(Entrepreneur)

“i can wait for only two 2 years after which i may start getting worried but won’t still take any action yet.

“If it gets to 6 years and there isn’t any hope I start going for other alternatives. But  If there is a good reason why there isn’t a child yet I can take action earlier than that.”

Mrs. Beatrice Benson (A civil servant)

 “It’s something you daily long for. You just have to keep your hope alive and keep believing that one day you will be called a mom.”

 Miss queen Tarfa(Lawyer)

“i will only have  the patient to wait for only 6 months after marriage. If its left for only me to decide and not my partner, I wouldn’t wait at all, I will just go for IVF  as soon as possible.”

Miss Sandra Balogun(Food scientist)

” If ivf is an option and there is funds, no need waiting.

”I have my life planned out, and there is a solution so I don’t have option than to indulge the solution.

Miss Sylvia Okeke( Lawyer)

”It’s hard though but I will have no choice to wait till Gods time especially when my partner is not in support of any artificial solution.

What doctors have to say about childlessness

 Dr. Daniel Mfon

“In-Vitro fertilization is an intervention to help people conceive. It is usually done on single mothers who do not want to adopt but want to ‘carry’ their own pregnancy without meeting any man to do it or married couples who have not been able to conceive.

 “But women these days only wait for about  5 years before opting for in vitro fertilization (IVF)and this ranges between 30 -35years  even though it doesn’t have 100% success rate.”

Dr. Biobele Daviana

“Prior to this our current generation, women will wait for as long as possible with the hope that God will visit them. But now how long they can wait is subjected  to different factors.

“You have to be with your partner for at least a maximum of 6 month to one year with a very strong and steamy sexual intercourse, with the man reaching his peak (at least having sex three to five times in a week). When you have done this and still no pregnancy, that is when you can say you are infertile.

“It’s not something that a liquid will be rubbed on your stomach and you meet with your husband but rather one that comes with a lot of test , investigation, and also some psychological effects.

“IVF comes with complications, like situations of multiple birthing because many cycles of your egg is being taken to be implanted, hoping that one or two of the eggs will come alive. But most times one or two may live and then divide , thus producing doubles.

Dr. Collins. A. Kalu, an obstetrician and gynecologists  

“An average of 300 couples visit the gynecology clinic at this General Hospital every month and an estimated 2,700 couples in a year.

“Out of the total number of gynae visits in a year, around 80% of couples experience the heartbreak of being unable to conceive naturally (infertility).

“This can relate to factors in both men and women with the men contributing about 30% while the remaining 70% may be attributable to women.

“In men (accounting for 30% of cases) the lateness usually relates to sperm production, but when it comes to women there are several causes like tubal factor, cervical factor, cervical factor, and uterine factor amongst others.

“But the most common cause of infertility in women (accounting for 70% of cases) relate to the tubal factor- the woman has a uterus and it has two tubes, where the egg after it has been released from the ovary enters to reach the woman.

“It is in the tube that fertilization of eggs takes place. So, if for any reason infection or other mechanical situation causes blockages in the fallopian tubes that mean the sperm would not be able to meet the egg. Also, it can be caused by uterine abnormalities, endometriosis (growth of uterine wall tissue outside the uterus).”

“IVF treatment should only be administered majorly for the tubal factor that affects the two tubes.”