Will You Have Sex With Someone You Don’t Love? Boys, Girls Speak

Many view sex as an intimate connection between two people in love. However, there is a growing number of people who are more open about their sexuality and want to enjoy themselves without the emotional baggage that comes with love and relationships.

Having sex and falling in love are very different things for some people. Having a little fun without commitment is possible for many.

Love, however, is a complex and nuanced emotion that develops over time. The way women experience sex is often quite different than the way men experience sex.

THE WHISTLER sought the view of young people in Abuja who gave their opinion on the issue.

“You don’t need love to have sex” AMA Kalu (Accountant)

“Let me deal with the question the way it comes; the answer is YES. Sex is how to express feelings and fun so one do not necessarily need someone he or she loves to have to have sex. For example, no one loves an ‘Asewoo’ but someone who has sex urge quickly gets that sexual satisfaction with them. Sex most times is not pre planned which implies that it could be situational or circumstantial, two adults may get drunk and end up having sex without loving each other. Sex can be triggered by many things such as weather condition.”

‘Guys have sex without love” Uzo Johnson (Nigeria Law school Abuja)

“I think it differs from person to person. In large part, guys could F..K anything,  I said anything at all. For most guys it doesn’t have to do with love, affection or anything like that. With guys it is very possible you can make love with the person you love and have sex with the person you don’t love. Women are very emotional being and they have to feel attached for them to enjoy or have sex with the person. That is why it more rampant in boys than girls. It is very possible to have sex without love, and it is likely to happen. That is why we have prostitutes and those who patronized them are majorly guys because they have the ability, more than the women, to lock up their emotions and go completely physical.”

“Sex Is deep, personal” George Ikpe (NYSC Member)

“I can’t talk, think nor have the thought of having sex with some I don’t like or love. The person will irritate me. No, I honestly can’t. Sex depends on feelings for me, to be honest, I can’t even get naked with someone I’m not dating. Personally, I see sex as something that is deeply personal. In truth, it’s like the most personal form of human interaction. So, it’s something you should not share with just anyone.”

“I place value on Sex” Onyinye Nwoke (Self- employed)

“No, because I don’t love the person why would I share my body with you.  I don’t know about some people but my body is personal and I can’t just be sleeping with just anyone. I can’t because of the values I place on sex, and my integrity. There are somethings that I can never compromise. Even if I’m very horny I refused to let sex control my actions. Without sex with someone you love, it will be completely boring and meaningless.”

“Yes, a man can”Somto Martin (third year student Afe Babalo University)

“Yes, you can, depending on two things. One is the situation at hand- sometimes you could be victim of alcohol and end up smashing the wrong person or you could just feel freaking horny and then a hot babe walks into your room and catches you in a very depressing position. The other one is what I called personal values- some people may just decide that no matter what they won’t have sex unless it’s with someone they love because of the values they place on their body. Others may see sex as just a fling with little regard for their body. Some people may place their value on integrity and hence won’t just go around being promiscuous.

“Sex not same with love”Ruth Olu (NYSC Member)

“Yes, I can … I can be sexually attracted to a person without loving the person hence the term “friends with benefit”. Sex to me doesn’t have to go with love, I could do it with someone for experience or if I’m horny. It’s just something that happens. Sure, people in love do it but to me it doesn’t matter. That’s why there are friends with benefits. Sex and love are not the same thing, sometimes you have to have sex with each other to understand it isn’t love.”

“Girls trade sex for gifts” Adrain young (Self- Employed)

“sex is what you derive from satisfaction which is call libido. I may not love but I may like the person which can lead to sex. Sex is pleasure. Some people sex for money while some sex to black mail. Some sex for fun some sex for power while some sex for the look, but majority sex for the emotions which is called love.

“So many girls have sugar daddies because of what they get from them while they have someone at home they truly love. So many girls have very high libido in which they can pay any guy to have sex with same as some guys too. My answer is yes I can have sex with someone I don’t love because of my sexual urge at that particular time, which is allowed.”