INTERVIEW: How Gunmen Killed My Husband In Presence Of Our Son —Widow

For Esther Ogundare, the sound of two gunshots at exactly 11:28 pm on January 10, 2023, marked the beginning of a nightmare from which her family has never fully recovered. What started as an ordinary night inside their Ushafa home in the Federal Capital Territory turned into a brutal attack that left her husband, Benjamin Okonjola Ogundare, dead, while their 14-year-old son and another relative were dragged into captivity by armed abductors.

More than three years later, Ogundare still remembers every detail of that night with painful clarity — the frantic banging on the windows, the fear that gripped the household, her husband’s final decision to open the door to protect their children from stray bullets, and the chilling moment the attackers told her they had killed him. By the time she returned home after being marched away by the assailants, the father of her children was lying lifeless on the ground.

In this interview with THE WHISTLER’s Kasarahchi ANIAGOLU, the widow recounts the horror of losing her husband, the traumatic month her teenage son spent in captivity, the financial burden of ransom demands, and the painful struggle of rebuilding life after tragedy. She also speaks about grief, insecurity, survival, and why, despite everything, she has chosen to let her late husband rest.

Excerpts…

What is your name?

My name is Esther Omowuni Ogundare, a mother, a public servant, a wife, now a widow.

What was the name of your late husband?

His name was Benjamin Okonjola Ogundare.

How will you describe your late husband?

My husband was a very nice man. He’s an artisan who repairs printers, photocopiers, computers and the like. Also, when you need to purchase these items, he will assist you in getting them.

He’s a father, and he loves his children. He was 49 years old before the cold hands of death came and suddenly took him from us.

How long were you married before his demise?

Our marriage was up to 22 years, and God blessed our marriage with two kids.

What did you miss most about him in your everyday life?

He’s a very caring man; he loves his children so much. For him, if his children don’t eat, he will not eat. He was a very nice man to the core.

He doesn’t play with his family and doesn’t want to see us in a sorrowful way. He was a very humble guy, never fought. He used to tell his children before his death, avoid troubles, and he never fought or abused me.

Couples will always disagree, but we never went to bed angry at each other. My husband was the shy type.

Could you share what you remember about the day he was taken?

It’s not easy for somebody who was not sick. It is when he’s sick that you should be praying for God. Whatever happens, let God just take the glory. Or whatever thing that is going to happen, let it be for the glory of God.

But this one was just sudden, January 10, 2023, the day my life turned drastically. We were just sleeping that day. He hadn’t even slept for up to an hour before they came.

Who came?

The killers, evil men of the night. He doesn’t keep late hours. From 8:00 pm, he’s home. So, that very day, we were in the house. I was the last person to sleep because I wanted to hear the news, but there wasn’t any light that day. After I waited until 10:00 pm, still no sign of electricity, I decided to turn off all appliances, did a routine check to ensure all doors were properly locked, and then I retired for the day.

I had just entered the room, and it was a few minutes to 11:00 pm. But my husband had fallen asleep. So I tapped him and said why are you sleeping like this? Shift, let me sleep. He had slept off. I just slept beside him.

While I was struggling to sleep, all of a sudden, I heard two gunshots, immediately, I looked at the clock, it was exactly 11:28 pm. I will never forget that time, the hour when death came uninvited.

Everybody woke up. The people around, they woke up. What is happening? They were at our door.

They did not go to other places. They now strategised themselves, some in front of the house, others had taken positions behind the house.

We heard a series of bangs on our room window while another person had taken position at the escape door in the kitchen. They did not go to any of our neighbours. It was only at my home that they carried out that operation.

Immediately, the one banging the window shouted, ‘Madam, open this door now.’ We were already panicking, panicking. Everybody was calling, sending messages to family members. So they left the windows, and they just started banging on our doors, trying to gain entrance, but couldn’t.

So, my husband decided to open the door for them. He was scared that they might begin to shoot, and our son (14 years old at the time), and his female cousin, who was also serving at the time, were also in the house.

He did not want them to start shooting. He said, “Let me go and open the door.” He decided to open the door.

I declined and asked him, so you want to open the door? He said, let me open the door. If they decide to shoot, I don’t know where it will land. My son is there, same with my cousin.

Immediately, he opened the door. They just seized him. Five of them stormed into our home.

One came to me, where is your money? Where are your phones? They collected our phones, carried my purse, and carried some other things in the house.

They just seized my husband and took him outside. They were dealing with the kids and me inside. They collected money.

Then they told me to follow them. Two of them escorted me outside the house, two seized my husband, one was keeping an eye on the kids, while the others surrounded the house. Following their direction, I passed my husband, who was pleading with his abductors, never knowing it would be the last time I would see him alive.

What happened next?

I don’t want to argue, and I didn’t look at their faces. They said we need to go, that the elder was waiting for them.

We had trekked a while, and suddenly they stopped; that was when I saw another set coming with my son and my husband’s cousin.

They began asking me which of them was my child, in their words, ‘Which of them be your pikin?’ I pretended and began to cough for me not to answer them, so they passed and went away with them.

They asked for my password and told me that they collected my phone just to contact me when it is time. We have killed your husband, they said. I thought it was a joke. So when they released me, they gave me directions to my home and signalled me to go.

I stood up. I was scared. I could see them holding guns. I was praying, God, don’t let them do their stupidity to gun my enemy down.

Going home, the thought of them saying they had killed my husband sounded like a joke; I refused to accept it. But on getting home, I met him lying on the ground, lifeless.

That operation lasted over 45 minutes. Before they left, they took a lot of time, and it was only my house.

Did you see any gunshot wounds on your husband, or how did they kill him?

Immediately, I got there, because I don’t want to touch him, in case they want to carry out an autopsy. I learnt they hit him on the head with sanda. (Sanda is a traditional long wooden walking and herding stick carried by Fulani men to guide and restrain cattle, clear pathways, and for personal protection in the bush).

I saw his blood coming out from his side, and his eyes swollen, but I couldn’t touch him; I just stood there. My husband wasn’t kidnapped; he was killed while my son and his cousin were kidnapped.

When did the police arrive?

The police from the Bwari division came but it took them time to get there, quite a while to get there, because it was in the middle of the night. It was my neighbours who called the police. So they came around 5:30 am the next day, January 11, 2023 while the killers came at 11:28 pm, January 10, 2023.

Did the abductors contact you during your son’s captivity?

No, they contacted my brother-in-law. When they asked me to unlock my phone, that was when they told me my husband was dead, so they demanded a contact, and I showed them that of my brother-in-law.

So, he was the one talking to them, not me and not the police.

When did they call?

They called the next day and demanded N20m in cash. And my husband’s elder brother told them that they had killed the person who was supposed to look for the money. But they didn’t agree, they said we should go and look for N20m.

How much money did the family raise?

We got support from the church, neighbours, friends, relatives and raised some amount. We raised N7m in cash but this was done in separate batches however my in-laws handled everything, and I was too weak to do anything.

They carried N3.5m to the place of exchange with some foodstuffs we had bought. They (kidnappers) asked us for a bag of rice, beans, salt, maggi seasoning, pepper and other foodstuffs before they would release the children. However, they only released his cousin, and held my son captive.

What happened after they refused to release your son?

When they first went with those things, I was not involved. It was when they refused to release my son, demanding more money, that my heart shattered completely.

People contributed again, this time another N3.5m was raised and my in-law was the one in charge of collecting money. People came to our aid. Yet they demanded we buy half a bag of rice, beans, salt, lighters, long torchlights, red oil, groundnut oil, pepper, curry, cigarettes, sugar, salts, beverages, and dried pepper meat (Kilishi) from a particular vendor in Bwari again.

Another ransom was raised, and this was during the cashless policy, yet they demanded cash.

My son spent five weeks in the bush; he was 14 years old then. When he was released he was admitted for over a week at the Kubwa General Hospital, he looked so pale and malnourished. My son drank dirty water while in captivity. The trauma affected him even in school, he began to say nonsense and we were advised to withdraw him.

It was after they released my son that we went for my husband’s burial and now I have accepted my fate.

How have you and your children been coping over the past three years?

It hasn’t been easy; we had to relocate from our home to a rented apartment because of the trauma. I’m just struggling with the work I’m doing.

I’m just struggling just for us to eat, but I thank Almighty God.

My son just got admission to study Estate Management, while my daughter, who was in 200L when her father died, has graduated.

You know, when things happen, that is when people will rush to help you.

They would like to help, eventually, people move on, and you are left to deal with life challenges.

School fees, clothing, and feeding have been a challenge for me. Things are very expensive. Nigeria is not like before again. Even with my salary, I still struggle.

Have you sold the property you shared with your late husband at Ushafa?

I sold some of our property, because where we currently live is a one-bedroom and it is small, compared to the three-bedroom we moved from. Some of our properties are still there.

However, nobody wants to rent or buy the house, it is more like it has been stigmatised following that incident, though we have indicated interest in selling off the property.

My son witnessed his father’s death, we cannot go back there, the trauma alone is enough. My son couldn’t get over it, it was God, first and second year, was rough for him and everyone.

What assistance did the police render during and after the period?

The police tried their best by carrying out an investigation, but it was the help of the people that God sent to us that helped us financially. How else would I have gotten such money from?

Were any arrests made?

None has been made to the best of my knowledge, its as though they stopped searching. The police just invited my brother-in-law to the station, but after that incident, we never heard from them again.

Is that the reason you decide to discontinue seeking justice?

Yes, my husband is dead, nothing can bring him back, and I have decided to let him rest.

How would you describe the role of the authorities throughout the process?

They did their best.

How do you feel about the current state of insecurity in the country?

Security in the country is everybody’s fight. The situation of Nigeria is everybody’s fight.

It’s not only me. So anywhere you are, anywhere you go, just pray for the security of God.