IPOB And Physics Laws Of Motion

My friend and brother, Umoru Ali Ciroma, who I learnt is now an engineer, will bear me witness that when we were in secondary school, we were taught that only three types of motions existed.

They were the Random motion (moving to and fro) Linear (on a straight line) and oscillatory motion (I no know that one, make I no lie).

Doing a bit of research, I discovered that other types of motions have evolved over the years and the three we knew have become like the Citroen car, outdated.

Other types of motions have since been discovered and added to the gamut which our old school physics text books written by the duo of Nelkon and Abbot, may not have captured.

A scientific expedition by me has revealed there are now four additional basic types of motions. They are, Rotary motion (turning round in a circle) Reciprocating motion (moving backwards and forwards in a straight line), Angular Motion (when a body or part of it moves in a circle (or part of) about a point called the axis of rotation) and General Motion (a combination of linear and angular motion).

The discovery has shown that motions are named in line with their peculiar patterns of movements and the more creative the name the better the chances of its recognition.

The entire South east region has been engaged in some movements lately owing to the crackdown on IPOB and its members by the Nigeria Army which has elicited all sorts of debate across the globe enough to invoke an intervention by physicists who must have observed that the movements do not fit into any of their definitions.

That was why when men of the 82 Division, moved on the streets of Umuahia, in what they called the show of force and were allegedly pelted with stones by some youths after which they opened fire and killed some of them, I was tempted to ignore all the definitions of motion and call it by its natural name of ‘wicked motion’ but later when the operation continued under the code name, ‘Python Dance ii’, it became imperative to work with renowned physicists so as not to end up giving Lai Mohammed his first evidence of hate speech.

What you’re about to read is therefore the result of my collaboration with renowned scientists on the subject of motions.

When Buratai’s men moved towards Kanu’s house but said they were only passing by, our team of scientists who examined the process defined that as provocative motion. They say this is when an object moves deliberately in a particular direction of a perceived opponent to provoke the opponent into taking a particular course of action.

When the IPOB youths threw stones at the gun wielding and battle ready soldiers, there was a debate, as some called it stupid motion, while some thought it should be called falling into a trap motion. At the end of the day, the latter carried the day because the youths fell into a trap.

When the soldiers as a result of that reaction launched the operation Python Dance ii and swooped in on every semblance of Biafra agitators, our team of physicists named it, this is what we have been looking for motion (This I believe does not need explanation).

And when the South-east governors proscribed IPOB, it was called, Lets save our states from state of emergency motion.

When the Defence headquarters declared IPOB as a terrorist organization, it was simply called, let’s cut the head of the snake motion.

The observation by Senate President, Bukola Saraki, faulting the process IPOB was so declared, was named, the Politically correct motion and the reaction of the army chief said it the federal government that would take the final decision on the proscription of IPOB, it is called, We won’t allow Saraki steal the show motion.

From the look of things Nigeria may have the highest number of motions in the world and should be recorded in the Guinness Books. I hereby move the motion.