Why Celebrity Marriages Crash, Experts Speak

Celebrity marriages are under greater pressure to separate than the average ordinary couples in the society because of their fame and fortune.

They work with some of the high personalities in the world and are adored by thousands of fans. They believe their money can take them anywhere and buy them anything they wish.

There is little incentive to remain in a relationship when things become difficult especially for two people who are accustomed to getting what they want as soon as they want it.

Ego also contributes as one of the things that cause celebs marriage to crash. Power changes most people and one of the first things to change is the size of one’s ego.

Some Nigeria celebrities whose marriages crashed within the years are Tonto Dikeh, Mercy Aigbe, Toke Makinwa, Fathia Balogu, Ini Edo, Kate Henshaw, Monalisa Chinda, Damilola Adegbite.

Marriage counsellors who spoke with THE WHISTLER revealed the reasons why celebrity marriages crash.

Director of the Directorate of Ecumenism and Interfaith Relation of the Presbyterian Church of Nigeria, Rev.Ini Ukpuho, said the marriages of celebrities and very important people in the society crash because most of the time they go into those marriages with wrong mindsets.

‘’Most of the time they go into that marriage unprepared for what marriage is all about. Many people go into marriage without understanding what they go into. Some by the time they discover the responsibilities involved in marriage they find it difficult to cope because they were not prepared for what they will find that is why the marriage of celebrities crash very early. They are not prepared ‘’he said.

‘’Most celebrities don’t depend on God in their marriages they depend on other things other factors to make their marriages work and neglect the author of marriage who is God. They don’t give attention to the spiritual side of marriage, they give attention to flesh and very undependable things in marriage; their beauty, the glamour and friends.’’

‘’ Negative peer group influence is another bane on celebrity marriages because they want to tailor their marriages after another person’s marriage, that is celebrities lifestyle. But no two marriages are the same. So if you want your marriage to be like ABCD that you are not married to, you are bound to have problems. You want your husband to behave like Mr A but your husband is a different person.”

He further said ‘’you want your wife to behave like Mrs B but your wife is a different person so once you are not realistic about your marriage and your commitment to who you are married to and you want to make it look like another person’s marriage, failure will surely come. So for me, this are some of the reasons because they depend more on the material thing than on spiritual things, they depend more on things that will fade away and so when those things truly fade they run into problems’’.

He said ‘’next reason is that celebrities are very busy people and they don’t have time to nurture and build their relationships so most of the time the relationships are built on very weak foundations because they don’t have time. Marriage requires time like every business everything requires attention. Marriage needs attention you need to give it attention to build up relationship to build up understanding and learn from each other.

“As a matter of fact marriage is a school and it is a school you can never graduate because you have to be a learner till you die. even when you are married for 50 or 60 years there is still something you have to learn about marriage you can never graduate like as I always tell people during counselling that why marriage certificate is given to you on the day of your marriage and not at the end of their marriage because there is no graduation day you only have matriculation day in marriage which is your wedding day’’.

‘’ There is no graduation day so we give you certificate upfront by faith that you will make it work and justify the certificate so that is why you don’t graduate because there is always something to learn. So if you don’t give time to the learning process that is involved to all the things you need to learn in marriage which celebrities are prone to not having time for each other and therefore they can’t learn each other and understand each other. A lot of things will come in, communication break down will come in because they don’t know how to relate and communicate’’ he said

Another religious leader, Chief Imam of Gwarinpa Estate, Abuja, Abdulgeni Abdurahim Zubedi also explained why such marriages crash. He said ‘’Marriages according to Islam is Ibada, meaning worship, because Islam looks at marriage as a form of worship. It attaches importance to marriage processes; selection of spouses (bride and groom), and because of the importance of marriage in regards to pro -creature and continuity of this world, Islam attaches few conditions to a successful marriage.

“Husband to be or the wife to be should be religious and also come from a home full of good behaviour and good character. Islam does not recommend marriage because of being celebrities or because the husbands family has money or the wife family member has money. Islam says when the man who wants to get married to the lady is religious and have good behaviour and good character.

He further explained, “Celebrity marriages crash simply because they are not matured in terms of good behaviour and did not look at marriage as a sacred relationship between man and woman. They looked at it as a kind of; if am satisfied I continue, if I’m not satisfied I will not continue.

‘’It also crashes because of lack of religious understanding and lack of good morality and good mannerism.’’

On her part, a Marriage Counselor and president Women of Prayer and Praise Foundation, Pastor Mrs. Abiola Johnson, listed her reasons for celebrity’s marriage collapse to include lack of trust. “One of the reasons for the collapse in celebrity’s marriage is because they are both famous people in the world and their lifestyle can cause distrust in their marriage. it also applies to other marriages.

‘’pride is another factor which crashes a celebrity’s marriage. They are both pompous. ‘’Do you know my level’’ is the question often asked. Pride destroys marriages if you not careful.

‘’Lack of respect is what I consider as “see me finish’’ because they are both in the same industry and are adored by their fans, they lack respect for one another. Also, one may earn more than the other and this may cause the person to look down on the other.”

She further said ‘’Too much exposure: in this case the both are exposed to fame and money. Marriage is not what is on their mind. They want to take care of their career first before marriage’’.

“Lack of cares: emotions are volatile things, how you feel about your spouse can shift over time especially once the emotional honeymoon stage is over. Over-ambitiousness also kills celebrities marriage. This is especially true if a spouse becomes competitive, and subsequently resentful of their partner’s success.’’