Orgasm Cures Headache, Says US-Based Family Coach

A certified marriage mentor and relationship coach at the Institute for Marriage and Family Affairs, Mrs Cecilia Agu, has urged married women to embrace pleasurable sex, declaring that “the antidote for headache is a good orgasm.”

Agu made the remarks during the Presbyterian Church of Nigeria, Gwarinpa Parish Women’s Guild conference themed “The Total Woman,” held in Gwarinpa, Abuja.

Addressing participants, she challenged long-held beliefs that sex exists primarily for men, insisting that women were equally created to enjoy intimacy within marriage.

“You know some people say that men are two-minute men, 40-second men and all of that. Do you know that you can also become a 40-second woman? Especially if you know yourself and you enjoy intimacy the way God created you to enjoy it,” she said.

She explained that while a man’s private part is his most pleasurable sex organ, a woman’s pleasure begins from her mind, urging women to build emotional connection and confidence in order to enjoy sex.

“Because if you don’t feel loved, you don’t feel cared for, you don’t feel seen, you don’t feel valued, that place will not open. It will not open for sure,” she said.

She noted that regular morning erections by men are not reasons to shy away from love-making as it is a natural physiological occurrence and may serve as an indicator of wellbeing.

“If your husband doesn’t have an erection in the morning at least three to four times every week, it’s something to be worried about,” she said, clarifying that such erections sometimes do not necessarily indicate sexual desire but are normal bodily responses.

Encouraging women to overcome shame associated with sex, she advised them to stop viewing intimacy as dirty and to embrace it confidently.

“You must be comfortable to use the word ‘sex’ because God created sex for your pleasure within the marriage setting. Tell yourself that sex is my birthright. Pleasure is my birthright. Orgasm is my birthright,” she said.

According to her, women who deny their husbands sex also deny themselves pleasure.

“The more you struggle, the more you have a headache. The antidote to headache is orgasm. I’m not just speaking, I’m talking from experience and from training,” she added.

Beyond intimacy, Agu urged women to prioritise self-care, arguing that neglecting personal wellbeing affects marriage.

“If I ask you when was the last time you took yourself out, maybe went to the spa, just did something for you, you may not remember. When was the last time you shopped for yourself? When was the last time you took care of yourself?

“You take care of everybody else but you. If your husband gives you money for shopping, you shop for the children first, then for your husband. By the time you remember yourself, the money has finished.

“But as a woman, you’re the most important person in that equation. If you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot come correct. You’ll be giving less than the value you should add to your marriage and to your life. So, learn to take care of yourself,” she admonished.

She further encouraged wives to honour their husbands and introduced what she described as a “30-day journal challenge,” where wives are to write something positive about their husbands daily and read it aloud at the end of each week.

She said the exercise would help reprogramme the mind to focus on strengths rather than weaknesses in marriage.

The coach also emphasised the importance of regular date nights, intentional bonding, and maintaining a welcoming bedroom environment.

“A lot of women are resentful because the man is always hanging out with his friends. You don’t even try as much as you can to go out with your husband. Go to the movies. Let it be intentional. No kids allowed in that period. Choose a day every week and do some things.

“It doesn’t have to be loud and grand, but by all means, keep dating each other. It is very key. From dating each other, ministration will happen,” she said.

She also advised women to maintain neatness and personal hygiene at home, noting that self-presentation could influence marital intimacy.

“Declutter your bedroom. Change your sheets regularly. Bring the hotel feel into your bedroom. Your room should be sacred to you and your husband. Be intentional about how you look and how you smell at home. It affects everything.

“Be intentional about your marriage, be intentional about yourself, and be intentional about intimacy,” she said.